If it was easy, you’d just do it.
Do you ever ask yourself, "Why can't I just DO THIS!?!" It’s typical to become disheartened when the new routine/habit/ritual to solve all your ADHD problems doesn’t work out as well as expected, or maybe not at all. This may mean you’re missing part of the larger picture. What part of your plan didn’t work? What did? What got in the way? What didn’t you anticipate that became a barrier?
No system or routine works perfectly all of the time, and it takes time to experiment and tweak until you find what works best for you. Also, there are going to be days when things don’t go well despite your best efforts: maybe you had a lousy night and didn’t get enough sleep; maybe your plans went off the rails because you have a kid, a partner, or a dog that got sick, your boss surprised you with a new project, there's been a plumbing disaster, and now everything's off track.
Additionally, being ADHD means we have barriers our neurotypical counterparts just don’t have, e.g., cognitive function differences, emotional hyperarousal, time blindness, neurodivergent trauma, distractedness, overwhelm, lack of brain chemical rewards that NTs receive, or expectations of ourselves that are very unrealistic. Again, IF IT WERE EASY, YOU’D JUST DO IT.
So, give yourself a BIG break. THIS IS HARD. You’re doing the best you can with the knowledge and tools you have. There are ways to make life easier and reach your goals, and the place to start is with radical self-acceptance. In a place of fierce self-compassion, your brain will function a lot better, and you’ll be much more able to look at the issue objectively and come up with creative solutions. This isn’t just feel-good talk, this is neuroscience.
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