Your brain is lying to you.
Image of a woman floating on her back in a turquoise body of water. Overlaying the image is text that says, “Fierce self-compassion is the antidote to limbic system fear and shame.”
I was listening to the NPR’s Fresh Air recently, and heard Terry Gross interviewing actress Tracee Ellis Ross about her life and success. Tracee shared that she has struggled to manage feelings of shame, and that she uses the word "shame" as an acronym to reminder herself how ridiculous limbic system narratives can be:
Should
Have
Already
Mastered
Everything
I L.O.V.E. it. What a wonderful tool! And isn't it accurate AND ridiculous?
For many of us NDs, shame is an almost constant companion, and we internalize the accompanying narratives believing that because they're part of our own thoughts, they must be true.
“You’re so lazy! Why can’t you get stuff done like everybody else?”
“Why is this taking you so long? You’re just not very smart.”
“You can’t take time to relax, you don’t deserve it.”
“If you don’t get it together, everyone will know for certain what a loser you are.”
Here’s the big news story: they’re not true.
Put simply, feelings of shame and shame narratives are generated by our limbic system–the survival areas of our brain–in an attempt to keep us safe. The problem is, unless we’re actually in danger, the messages are harmful and hurtful because they're generated out of fear and limiting beliefs.
The ADHD hyper-aroused nervous system manages huge amounts of shame that degrade our energy and become obstacles that can keep us from moving forward or trying new things, bound by self-doubt.
The antidote to self-judgment and shame is fierce self-love and self-compassion. Messages of self-love are generated from our prefrontal cortex, are energy generative, inspirational, coax forth our wisdom, and spark creativity.
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